For a select group, there are very few things that are worse than feeling uncomfortable and anxious in a social situation.
With our world becoming increasingly anxiety-inducing, many of us are stuck wondering how to become more outgoing and confident.
So, the question we need to ask ourselves is, how to be more outgoing and confident.
The key is to be honest about your weaknesses and to take your time to become the person you want to be.
- Identify your weak spots when outside your comfort zone – This could be social anxiety or low self-esteem.
- Challenge yourself to be less Introverted with small steps – Going out to public places or a social setting.
- Adopt the Body language of an Outgoing Person and Make Small Talk – Dress confidently, adopt new behaviors, and practice your social skills.
- Trust yourself to become more outgoing – Ignore any self-doubt.
With these tips, you are bound to become a more outgoing person and feel confident in yourself in no time.
Read on to find out more about becoming the extrovert you’ve always wanted to be.
Identify Your Weak Spots When Outside Your Comfort Zone
You’ve decided that you want to feel more confident and outgoing – Congratulations, this is the most important step in transforming into a social butterfly.
When you take time to work on yourself, it’s crucial that you’re honest about your social awkwardness and how you feel around people.
Try and make an effort not to push your feelings down. It’s important not to ignore them.
As an introverted person, it can be really intimidating to develop new behaviors, but there are plenty of resources available to help you hone your social skills.
Although it can be difficult to feel more at ease, psychologists tell us that it isn’t as hard to change your life as you might think because small changes are the easiest way to reset old habits.
Once you have decided that you want a new start, it’s time to ask yourself difficult but helpful questions.
The first question you should ask yourself is: what habits do you need to change? What behaviors are keeping you from feeling confident?
Some people have a really hard time being around others at social events, often trying to hide away from these difficult situations.
Other’s just don’t know how to express themselves outwardly and find it difficult talking to people, and keep their passions and opinions secret.
Research shows that people who suffer from crippling shyness or anxiety often have a hard time making friends, pursuing relationships, and progressing in their careers.
As you spend time identifying qualities or behaviors that might inhibit you from becoming more outgoing, be compassionate towards yourself. You might like to post positive affirmations around your home that inspire you to love yourself and to keep moving forward on your journey towards confidence.
Maintaining a notebook, like this 52-Week Guided Journal, is another great option for keeping your spirits high.
Challenge Yourself to be Less Introverted with Small Steps
Now that you have identified what parts of your behavior you want to change, it’s time to get to work. This step takes a lot of introspection; take a good hard look at your bad habits and imagine some ways you could overcome them.
If you tend to struggle with social and professional environments, what would happen if you spent more time in public places like movies, concerts, or bars?
Perhaps you bring a friend along with you, and they can keep you company. You don’t have to start big – make a goal and work up to it.
Say your goal is to be able to go to a friend’s wedding without leaving early because of your anxieties.
You don’t have to make the wedding the first step on your journey towards confidence. In fact, you probably shouldn’t – studies show that dealing with social anxiety is a process that requires gentle, gradual therapeutic treatment such as cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Little by little, start with small challenges that you can incorporate into your daily routine, like talking to someone at the grocery store or perhaps hosting a small get-together with some new people you know from work.
Eventually, you will have mustered enough emotional strength to attend your friend’s wedding and not feel quite so overwhelmed.
You’re developing the tools you need to become more comfortable and outgoing.
Just remember that every step you take beyond the safety of your comfort zone is one step closer to the life you want to live.
Adopt the Body language of an Outgoing Person, and Make Small Talk
How does confidence look to you?
Is your version of a confident person someone who dresses extravagantly or a person who can make good eye contact and have a conversation with someone new?
Take some time to envision who you want to become and picture yourself as that person.
Become that person.
If you want to start dressing more vibrantly and express yourself to the world, you’ll need to start gathering clothes that fit your new personality.
If your idea of confidence is more outspoken and talkative, then it’s time to practice being social and meeting new people.
Work on how to make eye contact, say hello, and then keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions.
When you start to embody the person that you want to become, it may feel forced. The phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” comes to mind here.
This principle has science to back it up, too. When you imagine yourself in a social interaction – for example, when you envision yourself acting confidently – your brain fires neurons that make you feel as though you are experiencing that situation firsthand.
Trust Yourself to Become More Outgoing
The biggest opponent to confidence is doubt, and doubt has the ability to tear you down easier than you might think.
As you become more confident, there is a chance you are likely to feel self-doubt.
This self-doubt often manifests itself as sadness, stress, or anxiety, and you might be tempted to scurry back inside your shell.
Don’t! These feelings will pass!
Psychologists believe that one of the best remedies for self-doubt is to concentrate on one’s goals instead of dwelling on negative emotions.
There’s a possibility that you’ll feel down on yourself, even if developing social confidence is your life’s greatest goal.
If you start to feel like a faker or a phony because you’re trying new things, remember that everyone has felt that way before.
This phenomenon is called imposter syndrome. Much like it can happen to someone who is hired at a new job that they’re actually qualified for, imposter syndrome often arises when you’re trying out new behaviors or new habits.
sciencemag.org/careers/2008/02/no-youre-not-impostor
It’s natural to feel this way. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing, following these four steps, and your progress will be immense.
Get excited about the person you are going to become.
Conclusion
It’s not easy to step outside of your comfort zone and become a social and outgoing person. It’s thought that over 7% of Americans have suffered symptoms of social anxiety disorders in the last year.
However, fear doesn’t have to get the better of you.
Start by simply observing your behaviors – when do you get anxious or feel less confident? When do you feel introverted?
After observing your behaviors, challenge yourself to do something scary. Start by just chatting with someone new, ask somebody the time, or directions.
Remember that habits are changed through small steps. Eventually, these steps will become bigger and more long-lasting.
Finally, allow yourself to become your best self. Be patient, and keep your goal in mind. Soon you will become more comfortable around others, and your social circle will increase beyond your wildest dreams.